Let's Talk

Let's be honest, if I weren't a child of the Most High God, I would probably be a crazy hipster. Every now and then I can feel myself going down that path of "I liked that before it was cool". This happened to me in the 5th grade, when I decided I wanted a charm bracelet, and about 6 of my fellow classmates followed suit. Any normal child would think "cool, I've got influence among my peers" but I wasn't a normal child (I liken myself to Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, and this goes for my childhood too). I felt like I had been copied, like other girls thought they could rock the charm bracelet better than I could. So, I stopped wearing mine.

Completely irrational, I know. Nowadays I appreciate it more if someone likes my style and wants to emulate it. I suppose being an adult has a large part to do with that. 

I may not be a hipster, though I do enjoy some of the things hipsters enjoy (Fleet Foxes, anyone?), I spent the better part of 2010 making fun of hipsters. One of the idiosyncrasies of a hipster is their love for irony. I'm not necessarily the  most ironic person, but my life in the past few days has been nothing but irony. Most of it coming from scripture I've been studying lining up with random (or at least seemingly random) occurances in my life.

I've been in a state of transition for a while now. I know the calling that the Lord has placed on my life, and I'm just trying to get there. I'm working, going to school, doing freelance jobs and just trying to find my place in adulthood. God has been so faithful to me through this season in my life. I feel that each step that I'm taking, though they may be small, is all falling in line with the promises God has made to me. 

The past few weeks have been interesting. Not only have I joined a gym, but I've been dealing with commitments, losing friendships, and a general state of ennui. But through it, in my diligence to seek the things that the Lord has for me, I have kept my peace. Yes, it's taken prayer, by me and my friends. It's taken scripture, declaring The Word over my life. It's taken times of complete abandon, opening my heart in worship to Jesus and letting his love completely overtake me. It's taken a change in my daily routine, and through that a call to fasting, prayer and a deeper study of who Jesus is. 

I'm not at a low point in my life, but I feel at times that I am stuck. The Lord has told me many times that this is a season of learning. A time not only to be in school, earning a degree, but a time to deepen my understanding of the things of God. I didn't know that I had grown so much in the last two years, until I talked with my friend a few nights ago about some of the things I've been feeling. She pointed out the wisdom I was using in the situation, although I hadn't seen it, she was right. It always seems that you don't realize the growth you've made until you look back at how you were compared to how you are now. 

I will remain trusting in God now more than ever, because he has always been faithful. I would be a fool not to trust him in every situation. And I am sure the irony will keep on flowing, it would be too ironic for it not to now.

"Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised" 

Hebrews 11:11

This song has been resounding in my heart for a few months now, I recommend Jon Thurlow's music to everyone! (He can be seen every week leading sets with IHOP KC)

Terse Thoughts: Thankful

It has been almost seven years since I stopped eating red meat. Not once have I received a thank-you card from the cows. Are they even thankful?

New Things: I Got Soul

My weekend was rough. I spent most of Thursday and Friday scouring car dealerships, doing test drives and pulling out the "courtesy laugh" to all of the eager car salesmen. Trying to find a new car for myself has been one of the most annoying processes I've ever endured. I've been searching for a new car for a couple of months now, and searching through AutoTrader and Craigslist posting consumed almost every hour of my free time. 

My main problem was finding any car that I liked enough to justify paying the amount of money I would have to pay. I had plenty of options, but unfortunately the final decision came down to my father, whose credit I was using to get a good rate. He wanted me to buy a brand new Civic. But that was just too boring for me. I couldn't see myself in a Civic. I had looked at every car. Calculated every cost, every mile of gas, imagined every possible scenario and had no decision made. On Wednesday, I reached my breaking point. I was sick of the process. I decided I was going to buy a car no matter what. Come Saturday, I was fighting a sickness (still am), but had decided I wanted a Kia Soul. After sitting in the dealership for hours, I finally got the keys to my new love! 

I love looking out in the driveway and seeing my new ride. This is my first new car, and I'm paying for the whole thing. I feel like I've reached adulthood, and that's the perfect way to enter the new year. 

Happy 2012 everyone!