I took a special trip to my local Taco Bell today to test out a certain new release that has been making many-a-taco-lover drool with anticipation: The Doritos Locos Tacos.
Let me begin with this: I don't like crunchy tacos. They're always messy. They always fall apart. I don't eat food that makes me look like a fool. But I decided to forego all of my worries for the sake of science! (This is science, right?)
I ordered my taco, feeling rather silly as I said the name, as well as ordering a backup gordita just in case this taco was nasty. This taco is available in regular or supreme. I got the supreme taco, because when given a chance I will always order the fancy version of food. I also didn't change the beef to chicken like I would normally do because I wanted the full effect of this taco as it was meant to be eaten.
I brought my taco home, sat down, opened the package, took a picture, shared it with the world of Instagram and Twitter then poured on a little mild sauce. Not only was the shell disproportioned, but after the first bite I found myself being welcomed by a mound of sour cream. The last time I checked they use some sort of magical squirty contraption to put sour cream on a taco, why then was there a blob as if it had be haphazardly plopped into the shell? I blame my taco bell location for this one, but it did not help my experience of this taco. I also was cursing the crunchy shell the entire time. It lived up to my crunchy annoying expectations.
After my last bite of this taco I reminisced on the food I had just consumed. The main problem I had was the actual flavor. It lacked the overwhelming flavor of Doritos, which I didn't expect. I thought my mouth was going to be drop-kicked with flavor, but this did not happen. It was salty, kind of boring, it was missing something. A special sauce? Baja maybe? Nacho cheese? I really wasn't too impressed. There might have been a chance that this could have been the most delicious taco in the world, but at the end of it I was just glad it was over. I also really didn't enjoy having my hands covered in Dorito dust at the end. I know some folks enjoy that aspect, but to me it just made this already messy taco even messier.
Now I come to the real problem with this taco: Its name. They're called Doritos Locos Tacos. Which is fine. They're tacos. They're made of Doritos. We can then deduce that these tacos are locos (crazy). But what happens when I just want one? Do I order a Doritos Locos Tacos? Or do I change it to a Dorito Loco Taco? Do they automatically assume their creation is so delicious that people will order two? I almost feel compelled to purchase two because the singular form is in question. And that's probably what they want too. Nice try, Taco Bell, but this chick won't be so easily ensnared by your feeble attempts at making more money.
Now that they've created one Dorito taco, where does it end? Will they have other flavors of Doritos made into taco form? As if the Doritos company itself wasn't going crazy with making new flavors, now they have an entirely different market of crazy taco-loving people who will probably eat whatever they dish out. If I ever want to try these flavor combinations again I'll just sprinkle Doritos on my soft taco and call it a day.
Transition
After a rather enthusiastic response to my last chart, I have decided to make it a regular happening. I can't guarantee that it will happen every post, because sometimes I just don't have the time to create a chart from scratch, but it will be happening!
Here is my chart describing the flavors I experienced while eating my Doritos Locos Tacos. (aka my Dorito Loco Taco)
I hope this review was helpful. I probably won't be eating another one of these tacos anytime soon, but I won't stop anyone from trying one. Please, form your own taco opinions, and enjoy!
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